What does your wife think about you wearing leggings?

My experience wearing men’s leggings continues to be a wonderful and positive experience.

Out at the grocery store or in the park playing with Lou Lou I have yet to experience anything with a stranger about my apparel choice. No comments, no questions, nothing at all. What I choose to wear offers little impact on my life.

Wearing a mask has been different for that matter. I did have someone tell me that Tucker Carlson thinks masks are stupid and that I am actually breathing my own carbon monoxide than helping keep people safe in a public health crisis. So men’s leggings are less polarizing than face masks from my poor anecdotal evidence.

That said I have heard the most “worry” about my apparel choices from my own family. My brother-in-law had A LOT to say about just wearing skinny jeans, calling them mom jeans, and exclaiming how great my ass looked in them - I think his word choice was “Jesus Christ, Alex!” I could not imagine what he’d have to say about seeing me wear leggings, hopefully, I’ll have the courage of my convictions to wear them at a family gathering.

My wife is the clear winner in this category. As far as family is concerned she’s the one with the most direct impact. First, I must say she’s been wildly supportive and understanding. Most of her worry stems from the fears she has about how society will view me and us as they see me wearing leggings. She has valid concerns.

I was reminded that plenty of other spouses feel this way about their partners as I had a conversation with a fellow men’s leggings enthusiast. He was relaying a similar sentiment that his husband just doesn’t understand.

It was actually his direct questioning that made me really analyze the question in the first place. He asked:

I have to ask. Your wife. What does she think about your leggings when you wear em? My husband gives me strange looks sometimes when I wear em. But whatever.

She ever say anything weird? Ever wear [legging] in public? That's when my husband frawns upon it most.

Here’s another, clearly anecdotal, piece of evidence about men’s leggings societal acceptance. Strangers really don’t mind, but our loved ones can worry.

My wife was worried not about me but for me. She understands as well as the next guy what can happen to people who are seen as different. Don’t believe it matters? Tie a red ribbon around the neck of a seagull and watch the carnage as the flock stamps out anything different.

“Dude, we ain’t seagulls”

Sure, but we still deal with differences in our own ways that can be painful and my wife was worried. She still is. I think that worry is fair.

I talked a bit about this topic in a recent post - Men’s Leggings and the Great Seam Debate - basically, we have to live in the world that exists and not the world we wished was. My actions affect more folks than just me. My behaviors paint myself, my spouse, my children, and my family and community, but do men’s leggings make the same impact as being a drunk?

NO! The effects of my apparel are minimal but they are still there and I can’t fault my wife for her worry.

Especially because in our direct relationship she is understanding and supportive. She offers help on styling my leggings she has expressed interest in helping me shop for better fitting brands and is even interested in helping me source materials and try to make my own little boutique men’s leggings brand. I am a constant entrepreneurial dreamer.

Ok, but what does your wife really think about you wearing men’s leggings?

To be honest she’s not in love with them. She’d prefer other outfit choices and while she understands I like them in her opinion there’s a lot of other styles I can wear that she feels look better on me and that capture her interest in me more. I can appreciate this and respect it even.

I admit at first I was worried. If my wife isn’t into them am I pursuing something that is a waste of time? If she doesn’t think they’re the coolest thing in the world what will the rest of society think? Are men’s leggings a poor fashion choice?

Much of this comes from living at the edge of normal. It is a unique space to occupy.

By wearing something as unique and different as men’s leggings I find myself up against a bunch of social norms. What is masculine, what should a man look like, what is attractive, should clothing define gender? Those questions go on and on.

Some of those questions are for me, myself, and I.

Some involve another person’s opinion.

Some should be challenged and some don’t really have an answer.

What do people think of me wearing men’s leggings? I think it matters a lot more to me than it does to them. I am looking to feel confident and desirable wearing men’s leggings. I am more invested in the look than they are and it is way too early for everyone to be on board with men’s leggings. It’s way too early for most folks to even be aware they’re an option outside the gym.

What other people think is honestly irrelevant.

Leggings and any other clothing element shouldn’t define me in the same way that other people’s opinions shouldn’t define me. I should define myself. I should be flexible with myself. I should be kind to myself.

The question really comes down to what I think. Am I happy with myself?

Yes, I am.