My Journey to a More Feminine Physique Through Fitness and Diet
I have always loved fitness and movement. My journey began early with soccer, but by the time I was nine, I had found my true passion in fencing.
I know fencing?? Like with swords and white canvas outfits??
Fencing really became a sport that shaped my adolescence in so many ways. It’s even how I met my wife, Sam! By the end of high school, skiing had taken over my life, and to this day, I’m still obsessed with the slopes. For me, skiing feels like the closest thing humans can get to flying, short of jumping out of an airplane.
Running was a bit of a different story. I dabbled in it during college, but it wasn’t until I moved to Colorado that I fell in love with trail running.
There's something about weaving through rugged paths, surrounded by mountains, that made me feel free in ways I hadn’t experienced before.
In fact, trail running played a pivotal role in helping me reconnect with my genderqueer identity. It gave me the space and clarity to listen to the parts of myself I’d kept quiet for so long. Ultimately it was the running tights that kicked everything off. Your can read more about that whole story on this post.
Over the years, my motivation for fitness has evolved. Movement and competition have always been fun for me; they’re pure joy, hard work, and play rolled into one. But as I began to embrace my genderqueer and nonbinary identity, fitness took on a new dimension. It became a tool for transformation, not just physically but emotionally.
I wanted my body to reflect how I felt inside. I wanted to become my own avatar; a blend of strength and softness, androgyny and femininity.
In recent months, I’ve started focusing on fitness routines that not only enhance my general health and mobility but also help feminize my shape in ways that feel affirming to my identity.
During COVID, I got into kettlebell training in a big way, and it’s been a game-changer for me. My naturally stronger quads and glutes responded quickly, but I’ve since honed my approach to target areas that help me feel more aligned with my goals and sense of self.
Now here’s a quick disclaimer - I’m not a fitness professional, but I’ve spent enough time experimenting and learning to craft a routine that works for me.
In this post, I want to share my personal journey toward feminization through fitness. I want to share how I’ve tailored a mix of kettlebells, calisthenics, running, and biking to affirm my gender identity and feel more fit, femme, and fabulous along the way.
Interested?
Well here we go!
Defining My Gender-Affirming Fitness Goals
Gender affirmation looks different for everyone, and feeling femme is just as beautifully complex and personal. My approach to fitness and feminization isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, but it’s what works for me. If any part of my routine or mindset resonates with you, I hope it inspires your own journey toward self-expression and confidence. As a quick aside. If you have questions or want some advice please reach out! I am happy to help where I can.
Anyway where was I? Right my feminization and gender-affirming fitness goals.
For me, feminization is about embodying a fierce “Amazonian confidence” while also radiating that playful “femme fatale” vibe. I want an aesthetic that says, Look at me, aren’t I cute and deadly? Sure, it’s a bit of a cliché, but it’s also empowering. I want to feel cute, curvy, stylish, and strong. Fitness isn’t the only part of feeling femme, but focusing on my physique and fashion has made a big difference in how I express myself.
One of my main goals is to reshape my figure to feel more at home in it, particularly in leggings and other femme clothing. My anatomy naturally gives me a more traditionally masculine silhouette, so I use fitness and diet to help create curves and refine my shape in ways that affirm my identity.
Specifically, I focus on:
Building my glutes, quads, and hips to create a more curvy, feminine lower body.
Tightening and strengthening my core to work toward that “snatched waist” look.
Developing my chest and shoulders to achieve a balanced, “muscle mommy” aesthetic that also improves my posture and overall strength.
At the same time, my fitness journey isn’t just about aesthetics. My top priority is staying healthy, mobile, and strong for the long haul. I want to live a vibrant, medication-free life, with the endurance and resilience to tackle big physical challenges. I like to do hard things, whether that’s an intense trail run or a long day skiing. That said, I also want to feel confident and femme in a bathing suit or leggings, and this routine helps me align those physical and emotional goals.
Fitness has become an integral part of how I connect with my genderqueer identity. It’s about reshaping my body in ways that feel right for me while also honoring my health and wellbeing. Every time I see progress whether in the mirror, on a trail, or through how I feel in my favorite clothes it’s a reminder that this journey is as much about self-love as it is about self-expression.
It’s also a quality reinforcent loop.
Meaning that as I stay dedicated today to “my future self” and really follow through on the promises that “yesterday me” made I really start to see results. This means I have started to snowball my efforts. after several years of good consistent training and now several months of feminization training I am hooked!
My Fitness Routine For General Health and Feminization
When it comes to my strength training, I’ve found my groove with kettlebells and calisthenics. Over the years, I’ve experimented with gyms, machines, and barbells, but they never quite felt right for me.
Public gym spaces can sometimes feel unwelcoming, especially when I want to dress as my authentic self. That’s why I’ve built a routine that works for me. One I can do at home with affordable, versatile equipment and a focus on movements that align with my goals.
My approach to fitness focuses on three core elements, each designed to build strength, mobility, and endurance in ways that affirm my gender identity and enhance my overall health.
1. Mobility: The Foundation of Movement
Mobility work is the bedrock of my routine. These exercises aren’t flashy, but they’re essential. They help prevent injury, strengthen weaker areas of my body, and make everyday movement smoother and more comfortable. Whether it’s dynamic stretches, joint rotations, or yoga-inspired flows, mobility work ensures I’m moving well and feeling good.
2. Strength Training: Push, Pull, and Core
Within strength training, I break my focus into three key elements:
Push Movements: These exercises target muscles involved in pushing motions, including both upper and lower body. Think squats for building powerful legs or push-ups for toned arms and chest. They’re essential for creating strength and shape in my physique.
Pull Movements: This category works the muscles responsible for pulling. While kettlebell swings are a staple here, I also include exercises like deadlifts and rows. These movements build balance and strength in areas that often get overlooked.
Core Work: While most of my exercises engage my core in some way, I also incorporate specific movements aimed at tightening and toning my midsection. This not only strengthens my body as a whole but also helps create the “snatched waist” look that I’m working toward.
3. Cardio: Training the Heart and Lungs
Cardio is where running and biking come into play, and it’s just as critical to my routine as strength training. The heart is a muscle, and training it with intention has made a huge difference in my fitness and endurance. My approach to cardio includes two distinct types of sessions:
Easy Days (Zones 1 & 2): The majority of my cardio falls into these zones. Whether it’s walking, easy running, or a casual bike ride, I focus on maintaining a pace that allows me to breathe comfortably and hold a conversation. This low-effort, steady-state cardio helps build endurance and improves my ability to recover from harder efforts.
Hard Days (Zones 5, 6, & 7): Once a week, I’ll push myself to my limit. These sessions include high-intensity intervals, hill repeats, or personal best attempts over specific distances like 1 mile or 5 kilometers. These efforts leave me breathless and exhausted but build power, speed, and stamina. A proper warm-up and cool-down are non-negotiable for these challenging sessions.
Why This Routine Works for Me
This balanced approach allows me to target all areas of fitness in a way that feels sustainable and affirming. By combining mobility, strength, and cardio, I’m not just working toward a more feminine physique I’m building a body that’s strong, resilient, and capable of taking on life’s adventures.
What I love most about this routine is that it’s adaptable.
It evolves with me, just like my gender expression and identity. Whether I’m on the mat with kettlebells or hitting the trails for a run, every session feels like a step toward the person I want to be both inside and out.
Now that you know the philosophy behind my workouts, here’s a breakdown of the routine I follow. This plan is tailored to my goals of building strength, mobility, and endurance while supporting my journey toward feminization. It’s flexible, approachable, and built entirely around kettlebells, calisthenics, and cardio.
A Few Notes Before We Dive In:
Adapt It to Your Needs: This routine works for me, but feel free to adjust the exercises, weights, or timing to suit your body and goals.
Consistency Over Perfection: Progress comes from showing up regularly not from nailing every rep or pushing to failure every session.
Warm-Up and Cool-Down Are Key: Each session starts with a warm-up to get my body moving and ends with core work and usually a walk around the block.
My Strength and Cardio Routine: Weekly Breakdown
Over time, I’ve developed a rhythm for my workouts that keeps things fresh while maximizing progress. By alternating between strength-focused routines and strategic cardio sessions, I get a balance of endurance, mobility, and muscle development. Here’s how my week is structured:
Strength Training: Workout A, B, and C
I alternate between two primary strength routines—Workout A and Workout B—on Mondays and Fridays, repeating them back-to-back to really hone in on specific movements. Each workout complements the other while ensuring variety. On Wednesdays, I incorporate Workout C, which focuses on core strength and full-body stability.
Strength Schedule:
Friday: Workout A
Monday: Workout A (repeat for added stimulus)
Next Friday: Workout B
Next Monday: Workout B (repeat for added stimulus)
Every Wednesday: Workout C
This rotation ensures each workout gets equal focus, while the Monday/Friday back-to-back approach deepens the training effect for both routines.
Cardio: Building Endurance and Strength
I aim for five cardio sessions each week, structured to include a mix of low-intensity and high-intensity efforts.
Cardio Schedule:
Monday & Friday: Easy effort, Zones 1–2 (light running or biking)
Tuesday & Thursday: Hard effort (intervals, hill repeats, or a time trial) on either day with the other day being easy effort. I generally do my hard effort on Thursdays.
Saturday: Long Zone 2 session (building endurance with steady, low effort)
Wednesday & Sunday: Rest days
Key Cardio Details:
On easy days, I keep the pace light enough to hold a conversation, ensuring my body recovers while still getting time under tension.
My hard effort sessions push me into Zones 5–7, testing my limits with intervals or personal best attempts.
Saturdays are all about endurance, with my longest cardio session of the week focused on steady Zone 2 effort. Once a month, I combine this with a hard effort to build both stamina and speed.
Here’s a Typical Week
Monday - Easy Cardio (35 to 45 minutes) followed by Workout A
Tuesday - Easy Cardio (50 to 60 minutes)
Wednesday - Workout C
Thursday - Hard Cardio (50 to 60 minutes) 15 minutes warmup, 30 minutes hard effort, 15 minutes cool down
Friday - Easy Cardio (35 to 45 minutes)
Saturday - Easy Cardio (90 to 120 minutes)
Sunday - REST
Why This Routine Works
This schedule gives me the structure I need to stay consistent while offering enough variety to keep things exciting. I love how the balance between strength and cardio supports both my gender-affirming goals and my overall health.
If you’re inspired by this framework, consider tailoring it to your own needs. Whether it’s adjusting the frequency, focusing more on strength or cardio, or simply adding more rest days, the most important thing is finding a routine that works for your body and your goals.
Strength Training Routine: Workout A, B, and C
I’ve structured my strength training into three distinct workouts: A, B, and C. These routines are designed to balance mobility, strength, and core work, using kettlebells, bodyweight exercises, and gymnastic rings. By alternating these workouts, I ensure a well-rounded focus on different muscle groups and movement patterns.
Workout A: Lower Body Focus with Upper Body Ring Work
Mobility Warmup (5 minutes)
30-second dead hangs
45-second deep squat holds
Dynamic yoga flow: Cat/Camel, Child’s Pose, and World’s Greatest Stretch
Power Work
10 Kettlebell Swings (24kg) – Every minute on the minute (EMOM) for 10 minutes
Leg Work
Kettlebell Suitcase Deadlifts into Reverse Lunge (24kg): 3 sets, 8–10 reps (1 set = both sides)
Kettlebell Bulgarian Split Squats (12 & 16kg): 2 sets, 6–10 weighted reps, followed by bodyweight reps to reach 20–30 total (1 set = both sides)
Bodyweight Cossack Squats: 1 set, 30–50 total reps (15–25 each side), adjusting based on how my body feels
Upper Body Ring Work
Bodyweight Ring Dips: 3 sets of 8–20 reps (currently assisted with legs; goal: 3 sets of 20 unassisted reps)
Bodyweight Ring Rows: 3 sets of 8–20 reps (progress by adjusting foot position or plank/bridge hold)
Core Work
A mix of:
V-ups, L-sits, Hanging Leg Raises, Glute Bridge Step-Unders, Dead Bugs, Side Planks, and more
Goal: Tighten and stabilize the core without bulking
Workout B: Single-Leg Strength and Upper Body Rings
Mobility Warmup (5 minutes)
30-second dead hangs
45-second deep squat holds
Dynamic yoga flow: Cat/Camel, Child’s Pose, and World’s Greatest Stretch
Power Work
10 Kettlebell Swings (24kg) – Every minute on the minute (EMOM) for 10 minutes
Leg Work
Stagger Stance RDLs into Kickstand Squats (12 & 16kg): 3 sets, 8–10 reps (1 set = both sides)
Bodyweight Pistol Squats (Assisted with Rings): 2 sets, 6–12 reps (1 set = both sides; goal: progress to unassisted and eventually weighted pistols)
1.5 Bodyweight Squats: 1 set, 30+ total reps (adjust effort based on how my body feels: progress to higher volumes or weighted)
Upper Body Ring Work
Bodyweight Ring Pull-Ups: 3 sets of 8–20 reps (progress to 20 reps unassisted or add weight for progression)
Bodyweight Ring Push-Ups: 3 sets of 8–20 reps (progress by adjusting foot placement or adding elevation)
Core Work
A mix of:
V-ups, L-sits, Hanging Leg Raises, Glute Bridge Step-Unders, Dead Bugs, Side Planks, and more
Workout C: Core Strength and Turkish Getups
Mobility Warmup (5 minutes)
30-second dead hangs
45-second deep squat holds
Dynamic yoga flow: Cat/Camel, Child’s Pose, and World’s Greatest Stretch
Power Work
10 Kettlebell Swings (24kg): Every minute on the minute (EMOM) for 10 minutes
10 Turkish Get-Ups (24kg): 5 per side, Every minute on the minute (EMOM) for 10 minutes
Upper Body Work
Kettlebell Z Press (16kg): 3 sets, 8–10 reps (1 set = both sides)
Kettlebell Bent-Over Rows (20kg): 3 sets, 8–10 reps (1 set = both sides)
Core Work
A mix of:
V-ups, L-sits, Hanging Leg Raises, Glute Bridge Step-Unders, Dead Bugs, Side Planks, and more
Diet and Nutrition for Fitness and Feminization
While I love the workouts and movement that are part of my routine, the real key to achieving the feminine shape I’m working toward is diet. For those of us with male anatomy, the differences in fat distribution can make this goal especially challenging, so what and how I eat plays a vital role in supporting my progress.
Eating for Energy, Recovery, and Feminization
The cornerstone of my approach to nutrition is prioritizing protein. Protein is essential for muscle growth and repair, which is critical when balancing strength training and cardio. It’s also calorically expensive to digest, meaning it keeps you full longer and helps prevent overeating. This is a big win when aiming for a caloric deficit.
Speaking of deficits, my focus is on eating fewer calories than I burn, which helps trim body fat and lean out my midsection.
My goal isn’t to reach bodybuilder-level single-digit body fat percentages, but getting under 18% and ideally below 15% makes it much easier to create the feminine “hourglass” shape I’m working toward. By eating in a caloric deficit while prioritizing protein, I aim to lose fat while preserving muscle, especially in my glutes, hips, and legs.
Why I Avoid Fad Diets
I’ve tried all the fads: keto, Atkins, low-fat, you name it. While they often work in the short term, I’ve found them unsustainable. Once the diet ends, the weight creeps back. Instead of following rigid plans, I focus on eating in a way that I can maintain for life.
Although I don’t count calories meticulously (it’s exhausting!), I’ve learned enough about food to understand portion sizes and calorie density. For example, knowing that a whole box of strawberries contains fewer calories than a single donut makes it much easier to prioritize nutritious choices.
How I Approach Food Day-to-Day
Here are the principles that guide my nutrition:
Prioritize Whole Foods:
I try to avoid processed foods and instead focus on fresh produce, lean proteins, and whole grains. It’s simply harder to overeat when your meals are built around blueberries, broccoli, or chicken breast instead of chips or candy.Embrace Hunger:
I don’t follow a strict fasting regimen, but I naturally fast about 12 hours each day. I avoid late-night snacking when possible, but if I need something, I’ll reach for protein. It’s a simple way to cut unnecessary calories and stay on track.Stick to Routines:
To make eating easier, I keep breakfast and lunch consistent. By repeating these meals daily, I create calorie control without the need to count every bite. Dinner is usually more variable, especially with three kids, but I practice portion control. If I am super hungry I load up on veggies and protein and avoid second helpings unless I really need them.Avoid the “Bad Foods”:
Alcohol: Cutting alcohol has been life-changing. I’m almost a year sober, and it’s been transformative for both my mental and physical health.
Sugar: While I haven’t eliminated sugar completely, I’m mindful about avoiding treats like ice cream, brownies, and candy. If I can say no, I do and when I indulge, I keep portions small.
Hydration for Health and Recovery
Staying hydrated is simple but essential. I keep a 32-ounce water bottle on hand and aim to drink it dry twice a day. Coffee, kombucha, or the occasional juice fill in the gaps, but water remains the foundation of my hydration plan. It keeps my body running smoothly, supports recovery, and helps me feel energized throughout the day.
Why This Approach Works for Me
The beauty of this approach is that it’s sustainable. It’s not about restriction or perfection. It’s about finding a balance that supports my goals while still enjoying life.
By focusing on protein, whole foods, and manageable routines, I can fuel my workouts, maintain my progress, and support my gender-affirming fitness journey.
Whether you’re just starting out or refining your own plan, remember that nutrition is a tool. It’s about creating a lifestyle that helps you feel strong, confident, and aligned with your goals.
Lessons Learned on My Journey
Looking at my routine laid out like this, you might think I’ve got it all figured out.
Let me be the first to tell you:
I don’t.
This journey is still very much a work in progress. Balancing fitness with the chaos of everyday life; three young kids, a career, my relationship with my spouse, and the occasional attempt at a social life has been one of my biggest challenges.
Overcoming Challenges
The hardest part isn’t completing a single week of workouts. It’s stringing together 12 consistent weeks. Life happens. Kids get sick, work deadlines pile up, and some mornings, I can barely drag myself out of bed.
Sleep is my biggest hurdle. With three-year-old twins who still haven’t mastered the art of sleeping through the night, I often find myself with extra little bedmates by 4 or 5 a.m. As sweet as those snuggles are, they wreak havoc on my ability to get up when my 5:45 a.m. alarm goes off for a morning run or strength session.
Another challenge?
Getting to bed on time.
I know I should be winding down and in bed by 10 p.m. and asleep shortly after, but more often than not, I’m still catching up on tasks or squeezing in a moment of quiet well past 11 p.m. sometimes even midnight.
These late nights make it harder to wake up early, which leads to me pushing workouts into work hours. That, in turn, creates anxiety about falling behind on business goals and feeds a vicious cycle.
The lesson here is simple: I need to prioritize my sleep. The better I get at going to bed on time, the more likely I am to stay consistent with my workouts and feel less overwhelmed by everything else.
Tracking Progress
Despite the challenges, I’ve made progress both physically and emotionally.
Since starting this routine, I’ve noticed tangible changes in my body. My legs and glutes are stronger and more defined, my core feels tighter, and I’m seeing shifts in my overall silhouette.
But the emotional progress has been just as important.
Fitness has become a grounding force in my life, a space where I can connect with my body in affirming ways. Each completed workout feels like a small victory, a reminder that I’m capable of showing up for myself even when life gets hectic.
Celebrating Wins
Progress rarely happens in big, dramatic moments. It’s about the small, consistent efforts—the ant power—that add up over time. Just as I’ve learned in my fashion journey, those little daily changes eventually create something transformative.
One of the wins I’m most excited about is the progress I’ve made with my running speed.
For a while, I felt stuck in a rut, running the same paces without seeing much improvement. But when I committed to weekly hard workouts, the results were dramatic.
My easy kilometers became faster with lower heart rates, and those speed sessions seemed to kick-start my metabolism in a way that complemented my diet goals. Beyond the numbers, the hard-effort cardio also worked wonders for my legs, noticeably improving muscle tone and definition.
Sprinting has truly been a game-changer.
Another huge win came when I added ring dips to my upper-body routine. For a long time, I was relying solely on kettlebell work for my chest and arms. Introducing calisthenics, especially ring dips, made an almost immediate difference. I’ve seen real transformation in my chest, which has been incredibly affirming and motivating.
Finally, the most obvious win:
the scale.
Over the past 12 months, I’ve lost about 16 pounds. It’s not an extreme amount, but what’s most exciting is where the weight is coming off. I’m noticing my midsection slimming down while my hips and glutes are growing, creating the feminine shape I’ve been working toward.
Fitness is a slow and steady process, but it’s working.
Every run, every lift, every dip brings me a little closer to the figure I want. And even though the changes feel gradual, they’re happening. Little by little, I’m building the shape, and the confidence, that feels most authentically me.
What I’m Learning Along the Way
This isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up as consistently as I can. Some weeks are better than others, and that’s okay.
Fitness, like life, is a journey, and I’m learning to celebrate the progress even when it’s slow.
If you’re on a similar path, know that it’s normal to hit roadblocks. The important thing is to keep going, adapt when life throws you curveballs, and find joy in the little wins along the way.
Tips for Others Considering a Similar Journey
If you’re thinking about starting your own gender-affirming fitness journey, the best advice I can offer is to start where you are.
You don’t need fancy equipment or a gym membership to begin. I’ve built my entire routine around kettlebells, calisthenics, and running. All of which are accessible, versatile, and effective. Whether it’s a kettlebell, a sturdy set of rings in a park, or just your own bodyweight, there’s always a way to start moving toward your goals.
It’s also important to remember that consistency matters far more than perfection.
Progress doesn’t come from perfectly executing every workout (though good form is important) or sticking to a rigid schedule it comes from showing up regularly, even when life gets hectic. Some weeks will feel seamless, while others might be a struggle to squeeze in a single workout. That’s okay. Every little bit counts.
Most importantly, listen to your body.
Everyone’s journey is unique, and what works for me might not work for you. Adjust routines, take rest days when you need them, and celebrate what your body can do at every stage of the process. This is about building strength and confidence in a way that feels authentic to you.
The Journey Continues, Let’s Connect
This journey isn’t just about changing how I look it’s about empowerment, self-discovery, and honoring who I am. Through fitness, I’ve learned to connect with my body in affirming ways, to celebrate progress both big and small, and to embrace the slow, steady process of becoming the person I want to be.
If you’re considering your own fitness journey, know that you’re not alone. Whether you’re focused on feminization, strength, or simply feeling more at home in your body, the important thing is to take that first step and keep moving forward.
I’d love to hear from you.
What are your fitness goals?
What challenges have you faced, and what victories are you celebrating?
Let’s build a supportive community where we can share our journeys, inspire one another, and grow together. Drop a comment below or reach out I’d be thrilled to connect with you!
