My Early Experience with Gender-Affirming Underwear

So this is a fairly intimate topic. That’s not meant to be a pun either.

I have written plenty about underwear and other intimate garments and that has been fun and useful for me. But it hasn’t been that in-depth into my mental health.

But over the last year as I have really gained momentum in understanding my gender expression and started to come out to family, friends, and neighbors as gender queer and nonbinary I have also started to explore other ways to affirm my femininity and feel better about the way I look and present when wearing leggings and other clothing.

For a long time, I have wrestled with the bulge.

On one hand, it is my anatomy. I like my toolbox and the results it has brought to my life. We have three beautiful kids and a wonderful family. Why be so ashamed that it sticks out and is obvious when I wear leggings?

But I haven’t been able to shake my anxiety, drilled into my head through social norms, religious chastity ideals, and other conditioning that male genitalia shouldn’t be seen. That it is vulgar and off-putting. If I do show a bulge it could lead to persecution and public shaming and generally I have had panic attacks and major anxiety about this.

The easiest course of action has been to cover up. Be modest. Wear the clothing my social conditioning dictates I should wear. I have done this now and even recommended this on Instagram and this very blog. But…

Welcome to dysphoria and gender jealousy.

I still can’t shake it. It’s present every day. That ideal outfit of urban athletic chic. The cute oversized crop top with leggings big socks and chunky sneakers. Accessorized with a beanie and shoulder bag and minimal jewelry.

Learning About Gender-Affirming Underwear

So I started trying to figure out how to become more androgynous. I have come a long way in how I style my hair and wear my clothes. I have expanded into my variety with high-waisted pants and wide-leg pants. I started wearing more jewelry and played around with more feminine jackets and bags but the urban athletic chic look pounds in my chest like Edgar Allan Poe’s Tell Tale Heart.

My a-ha moment was early in 2023 when I purchased the Tucking Leggings from Urbody Co.

Tucking?

Could that work for me?

I went around and around.

First off having an idea about something and then actually doing it are two very different things. But I started to explore and play around with it. It was an utter disaster. It was uncomfortable. It looked very weird. Overall it wasn’t working.

I let it go. Perhaps I just need to embrace the bulge. learn to accept it. Get over myself sorta thing.

But then Urbody Co. released a gaff. It came up in my inbox and social media feed and I was intrigued. Over Black Friday I bit and bought a gaff and a thong from Urbody Co. Both garments are designed to help you achieve a tuck but without the labor of the many DIY approaches available to you via a Google search.

I was willing to give it try.

Trying Gender-Affirming Underwear

So the undergarments arrived in the mail. I opened the gaff and I can recall thinking damn, this thing is tiny. But it did fit though tucking was still very awkward and still weird and generally disappointing.

BUT

The Tucking Thong was awesome. It wasn’t nearly as small and I was able to create a very minimal bulge without having to go through the whole process of delicately getting my testes up into their canals and pulling everything down and back and then having it go all mushy and uncomfortable. Instead, I did a half tuck, where the testes and sac are held up underneath just inside the canals but my member was able to lay up and compressed onto my lower abdomen.

This was not achievable with the gaff as its front panel is much smaller than the tucking thong. The look was a greatly reduced bulge and the first time I felt confident enough to wear my urban athletic chic outfit in public!

The euphoria was stupendous. Literally life-giving. I was on cloud nine.

I spent an afternoon out and about with my parents and the kids. I went out running errands. I went Christmas shopping for Sam. I wore the damn outfit and had so much fun. I felt like I had finally arrived. In every measurable way I had, in fact, arrived.

Dialing In My Tucking Technique

The experience was so good I was driven to improve. The half tuck was extremely comfortable and affirming but it was still a minimal bulge and I had a taste of those femme vibes and I really wanted to achieve a flat front. What to do?

Again I tried tucking, but honestly, the whole process is just too damn difficult. But I randomly stumbled onto the FuFu Clip. The FuFu Clip has a cult following as a subsection of male chastity. I am not interested in chastity or the sissy fetish scene but the product offers some very unique benefits that I was interested in.

The penis is inserted inward and clipped in place so that it virtually disappears and the sac the clipped up in a way that your testes are pushed into their canals and in many ways, your genitalia is feminized to the point of looking like a vulva. I was curious to see how it would work for my desire to flatten my front. At $18 bucks it was a meager investment.

To be honest, the FuFu Clip is A LOT. And this is why this is my most intimate post ever. I mean the amount of contortion and change to my anatomy I have ever experienced. But after a few days of messing around and playing with it, I can honestly say I am probably going to use this damn thing forever.

The first time I got the clip in place and pulled up the gaff and then my leggings to look in the mirror I was floored. I got emotional. I was home.

This new setup is so affirming, surprisingly comfortable, and, after working out the technique, easy to wear.

My journey into this whole new frontier is just beginning. For those interested in more details on gender-affirming underwear and my tucking technique, stay tuned. I’ll be writing more about all this, but over the last two weeks my life has blossomed and I was just too excited to not pound out this quick post.